The last time I did a blog like this I was heading to Los Angeles to do social media for the Manila Major Qualifier Hub; I found it only fitting that I’d do a second post for The International Qualifier Hub, since it was pretty much the same event with a little refining.

Beyond the Summit hired me on again to handle social for the event, which both featured more talent and a more hectic schedule; four days, 24 hours, and a whole lot of Dota. This time, however, I was a little more organized because I had an assistant, April, who would be able to cover for me while I slept. Sleep is important.

Since the last time I was in LA, I’d changed some things: I started doing daily vlogs (which I wanted to keep up), and a diet, which made the prospect of a catered event harder. This was kind of the first major test for my willpower with both of these projects, as I hadn’t been in an environment where I was less in control of my distractions and temptations.

Thankfully, though, BTS made the diet decision easier because there were multiple people there doing the same thing; I also managed to keep the streak going with my vlogs, which was pretty cool. I recorded an episode of my interview podcast while I was there, too.

All of those projects were products of the previous trip. In my last blog, I noted that I had some talks with people at the after-party where I came to a realization that I just needed to focus on what I was strong at, not what I thought would work the best. It’s been just a weird road of trying to keep consistent and give people an opportunity to connect with me.

It’s been hard. I still have weird moments (like my birthday, yesterday) where I overthinking what I “should” be doing; I had a weird freakout in that I had a hard time figuring out why exactly someone should enjoy my stuff, and it was the kind of existential crisis that I’m sure creatives have at one point or another.

This also happened towards the end of this trip, mostly because being surrounded by many talented individuals make you question your spot or your worth in the grand scheme of things, and sometimes it’s hard to be forgiving.

As always, these trips tend to be great places to refocus, or re-energize yourself, but I’m finding that my stamina and mental fortitude (especially after a month of different events on different time schedules) wore a bit thin. I’m starting to become more aware of when I’m getting a bit cranky or tired, and how that can affect my mood. The problem is, the stuff I’m working on still needs to happen regardless of how I’m feeling, and you kind of have to power through.

I’m looking forward to taking most of July off from travelling to events, as April-May-June was full of stuff (Pound V, GOML, Manila Hub, TI Hub, Manila Major) that kind of wore me out. I don’t know how the more travel-oriented talent do it all without just becoming unhinged. I suppose it’s a stamina you build up over time, and I’ve still yet to do that.

That stamina is weird, though; it comes with a trade off that you’re not likely going to be able to pursue things that require a stability, like streaming, blogging, etc. I’m coming to a conclusion that I need to become more scheduled in a lot of things (sleep, mainly) to achieve goals that require a couple straight hours of just constant focus (mainly streaming) instead of just being able to fit it in whenever.

I finished The Inner Game of Tennis (referral link) on the trip, and I’d really recommend it for people who are looking to improve some area of their life that requires focus. I feel like I have to re-read it with a notebook beside me to make sure I can condense down the main points, though, because there’s a lot to process.

Turning 27 was a trip for me coming back from this trip, mainly because getting older freaks me out; there’s so much I want to do, and the sacrifice of time only allows you to do so much. I worry that I’m just not meant to do some stuff, and that my goals aren’t for the right reasons, or my conviction isn’t as strong as it needs to be.

The ironic thing is there’s probably people doing this for worse reasons with less of a work ethic, and because they aren’t overthinking, they’re succeeding despite that.

Something to work on.

Till next time.